Summer Olympics: Ballsy vs. Ball-less

Summer Olympics are here and who isn’t excited!?

Ok, let’s be honest. Unless there is a sport that you really love and crave, are you setting your clock at 5:30am to catch badminton? Didn’t think so.

So although my excessive competitive spirit likes to come out during these times to see Canada kick some serious ass on the podium (so far we are a tad behind…or a LOT behind) the only events I really care enough to set my clock for are the Equestrian events…of course. Oh ya and maybe Usain Bolt.

But I have happened to catch some other stuff here and there waiting for my Real Housewives re-runs to start. And holy Moses, there sure are discrepancies in the balls and guts of these sports.

Here are my top ballsy, and ball-less choices. Not saying the ball-less choices are not complicated or without skill. But you do you need GUTS to board a plane to Great Britan with a table tennis paddle? Just sayin’.

BALLS

Eventing

I know! I know! How did the Equestrian event come first? Strange, right? But, my friends, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this sport, I’m going to fill you in on how this is a sport for the insane.

This is a 3 part event, usually run over 3 days. The first day is Dressage. To the non-horsey, Dressage looks like a lame ballet of horses (or so I’ve heard), but it’s actually very technical and requires much skill from horse and rider.

The second day is cross country which is not for the faint of heart and in my view, takes the cake in the balls category. Galloping full speed through a tricky outdoor course with rock solid obstacles meant to make your horse (and you) question why you are even there. These obstacles don’t budge if you happen to…um…miss a take-off or something.

In this year’s Olympic cross country course, 15 riders ate dirt. And these people are Olympic caliber riders. (No horses or riders were seriously injured).

And if that wasn’t enough, on day 3 you saddle up again for a show jumping competition!

Kudos, competitors, kudos.

Canoe/Kayak Slalom

I will admit, I had no clue this sport even existed until this morning. I had to look up how it was scored.

I really don’t know how you would train for such an event…I mean, do you hang poles over your local river? But I can only imagine the skills and ab strength this entails. My abs are sore just watching these folks maneuver through the obstacles. This involves some serious skill and guts.

I’d really like to know what happens to the fake rapids after the Olympics is over. Tubing anyone?

 

Triathalon

After witnessing my first Ironman Triathlon on Cozumel Mexico a few years back, I’ve had a deep, deep respect for triathletes. Although I think they may be slightly crazy for going the distances they do in the water, on the bike and on land, these are people who put the A in athlete. (Ok Cheesy, but still!)

The Olympic triathlon distance is shorter than an Ironman, but still it isn’t without balls. A 1.5km swim, 40km bike and a 10km run. And you have to be FAST. There are time cut-offs for each of the events. And obviously, if you are at the Olympics, you are fast.

(I’ve been told to train for the swim portion of a triathlon, you basically need to start swimming in open water and have someone beat the crap out of you).

 

BALL-LESS

 

Table Tennis

Basically that’s it. Need I say more?

Ok, but c’mon. I know people go crazy for ping pong…er…table tennis, but how do you train at the gym for this event? Does it involve a paticular amount of physical risk where your life may be in danger at any given moment? How heavy is a ping pong table tennis ball? Just wondering!


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It’s interesting to note the size of the stadium, yes, stadium, versus the actual table. But who am I to judge? These folks look like they are getting a good work out in? More than I do drinking wine, that’s for sure.

Archery

Archery is cool. I’ll give it that. But an Olympic sport?

Besides having great eyesight and aim, umm, what exactly is athletic about this? I mean I could see risky: Your opponent gets distracted, turns and lets go of the bow, and you could have a nasty little incident. Other than that, I’m not seeing a lot of risk, or…balls here.

Are these crazy athletes
?

Golf

Someone had the brains back in 1904 to take golf out of the Olympics, I’m guessing because although it involves much skill, it doesn’t really get the sweat glands going. However they have decided to bring it back in 2016! Um, yes!?

I have never been into watching golf, just because it seems to be like watching paint dry, but I know several people that would disagree with that. I’m sure the popularity of the sport will make it a successful spectator event in Rio. But guts and balls? Nope.

Whatever happened to ball room dancing? Wasn’t that on the list to add as an Olympic sport a few years ago? I’d like to add wine tasting.

 

 

 

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